Toxic Parents by Susan Forward

Most children can deal with an occasional outburst of anger as long as they have plenty of love and understanding to counter it.
p 17 At the core of every formerly mistreated adult...is a little child who feels powerless and afraid.
p 27 We transfer strong feelings from the appropriate person to an easier target.
p 65 ...the psychological umbilical cord reaches not only across continents but out of the grave.
p 81 Many adult children of alcoholics develop a high tolerance for accepting the unacceptable.
p 120 Many physically abused parents enter adulthood with tremendous emotional deficits and unmet needs. Emotionally, they are still children. They often look upon their own children as surrogate parents, to fulfill the emotional needs that their resal parents never fulfilled. The abuser becomes enraged when his child can't meet his needs. He lashes out. At that moment, the child is more of a surrogate parent than ever, because it is the abuser's parent at whom the abuser is truly enraged.........Recognizing a problem and seeking help is a sign not only of health but of courage.

c. 1989 Bantam Books
c. 2002 Revised Bantam Books