The deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important. It is the reason boys and girls join gangs and commit crimes and why some people become invalids.
Flattery is counterfeit.
The only way on earth to influence people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it. Before speaking -- ask yourself: How can I make this person WANT to do this?
Dale Carnegie had Tippy, a golden puppy from age 5 until age 10. At 10 years of age, Tippy was killed 10 feet away by lightening. Carnegie: "Tippy's death was the tragedy of my childhood....You never red a book on psychology, Tippy. You didn't need to. You knew by some divine instinct that you can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get others interested in you."
It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.
Freud was described by a man: "Never had I seen such concentrated attention. There was none of that 'piercing soul' penetrating gaze business. His eyes were mild and genial. His voice was low and kind. His gestures were few. But the attention he gave me, his appreciation of what I said was extraordinary. You've no idea what it meant to be listened to like that."
People who talk only of themselves, think only of themselves.
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. Avoid it as you would rattlesnakes and earthquakes. If you argue and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes, but it will be an empty victory because you'll never get your opponent's good will.
c. 1990 Pocket Publishers (reissued)
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